A Game of Cat and Mouse
by Elbereth04
Summary: Pirate England shows Pirate France and Pirate Spain who rules the world. A songfic.


Arthur Kirkland was unceremoniously dumped out of the chair he was currently napping in as a large explosion rocked his boat. Swearing in annoyance he picked himself up of the ground and ventured above deck to see what the fuss was about.

_How it all began__  
><em>_If truth to be told__  
><em>_Had a master plan__  
><em>_Now I rule the world__  
><em>_Took 'em by surprise__  
><em>_Worked my way up hill__  
><em>_They looked into my eyes__  
><em>_I became invincible_

The so-called commander* of his ship gave him a short salute before informing him that the French and Spanish had open fired on them.

Arthur cocked an eyebrow at the man "Why are you telling me this instead of returning fire you imbecile? Honestly, I have no fucking clue why you were appointed commander to begin with. Well, go on then, I want to see those French and Spanish bastards kneeling on my deck in under 10 minutes."

_No one can stop me for only I am in control__  
><em>_If you want me you'd better contact my people__  
><em>_In my crown, I am king__  
><em>_I love their endless worshiping__  
><em>_I am raw, a dinosaur__  
><em>_But I will never be extinct__  
><em>_So don't mess with me__  
><em>_I'll shoot you down__  
><em>_Don't mess with me_

The commander saluted once more before shouting orders at anyone and everyone he had in his eyesight.

Arthurs emerald eyes scanned the sea in front of him and he smirked 'So you've brought re enforcements this time, have you?' he thought to himself, leaning against the mast and being satisfied to watch the battle unfold before his eyes.

Despite having more ships and better equipment the Franco-Spanish fleet was occupied in a short time and Arthurs command was simple "Find them and bring them to me." Nobody had to ask who 'them' was in reference to, all of Arthurs men were familiar with the deadly game of cat and mouse that their Captain played with the Frenchman.

When the two men were brought to their knees bound in front of him Arthur smirked devilishy "My my, here you are on your knees in front of me again, France. If I didn't know any better I'd say it was a position you liked."

The hatred in the azure eyes was clear but he didn't bother dignifying Arthur with a response.

Circling the pair like a predatory animal Arthur stopped and bent down, cupping Antonios face roughly "You aren't very smart are you? If you wanted protection you might have picked an ally who at least had a history of being victorious."

"Captain!" the commander called from an enemy boat "What would you like us to do with these heathens?"

Arthur grinned and roughly pulled Francis into a standing position "That depends on how good of a negotiator their captain is."

Antonio looked utterly disgusted "Why do you always pick him every time? Do you ever consider he doesn't want to fuck you?"

Stopping suddenly Arthur knelt down and gently caressed the side of the young nations face "Because the last time I picked you, you seemed to enjoy it a little too much."

The man's face turned bright red "You're disgusting" he responded before a booted foot found his way into his abdomen.

"I think you need to be taught some manners, Spain." Snapping his fingers in a sharp fashion, Arthur stood up and gave the order for Spain to be taken below and taught some manners.

"You don't have to hurt him" France spoke up quickly but his plea seemed to fall on deaf ears and Arthur led him back to his quarters.

Upon entering his cabin Arthur unsheathed his rapier and brought it to Francis' cheek "I'm going to untie you now, I can't imagine that you would try anything stupid while you were unarmed, but just in case…" in one swift motion Arthur sliced downwards and a superficial cut was formed across Francis' cheek. "I think you get the idea."

Sheathing his sword and favoring a knife instead, Arthur walked behind the man and cut his bonds.

Francis stood perfectly still while Arthur sat on edge of the bed "Go on then, whenever you're ready" the Brit commanded gesturing for Francis to begin.

Francis sighed in defeat "If I do this do you swear that you'll won't touch the soldiers and you'll let Antonio and myself go?"

Emerald orbs sparkled dangerously "I think it's endearing that you think you have a choice in the matter…but you have my word."

_Show me sex appeal__  
><em>_Get on your hands and knees__  
><em>_Forget about the meal__  
><em>_It's best to keep me pleased__  
><em>_Imagine, if you will__  
><em>_a meat on the block__  
><em>_I've got time to kill so how about a quick fuck?_

Francis was disgusted "Why don't you just kill me instead? I'd rather be dead than be forced to please you."

The sound of a scream penetrated the walls of the cabin and Arthur smirked "Would you rather be in Spain's position? I could have that arranged if you wish. It would be a pity though to have them permanently mar that beautiful face of yours. No, I don't think I want that body of yours bruised and broken; just your spirit. Now strip."

Francis shuddered at the implication of Arthurs words and began removing his jacket slowly as if to prolong the inevitable.

"If you're having trouble I can always remove your clothes for you, if you like."

Francis shuddered at the memory of the last time Arthur had removed his clothes for him; he had used his rapier to cut all of Francis' clothes off him and he had been forced to go back to his own ship naked and humiliated.

Silently, and with as much dignity as he could muster, he stripped himself of his clothes and then started on Arthurs clothes as well.

Arthur tsked his disproval "It seems that your body just doesn't get me as worked up as it used to, I suggest you give me some inspiration."

Francis swallowed his pride for what seemed to be the thousandth time lately and set to work.

The second they had finished Arthur had commanded Francis to dress him before be pulled the man up to the deck by his ponytail and threw him to the ground next to a barely conscious Antonio.

_I've come it's been fun but won't you please disappear__  
><em>_Something tells me you can't further my__career__  
><em>_In my crown, I am king__  
><em>_I love their endless worshiping__  
><em>_I am raw, a dinosaur__  
><em>_I will never be extinct__  
><em>_Don't mess with me__  
><em>_I'll shoot you down__  
><em>_Don't mess with me_

"What are your orders, captain, sir?" the same man from before asked upon seeing his captain return from his 'negotiatiating.'

Arthur took one look at Francis who had crawled over to Antonio and was trying to prop him up. "Horatio, I want you to let your ships men go free…"

Francis sighed in relief "Merci.."

A sadistic smirk formed on Arthur face "As for the remaining nine ships; kill them."

Francis stood up quickly "Arthur no! You gave me your word…"

With a snap of Arthurs fingers one of his men brought Francis to his knees with a swift blow to the back.

_'Cause all your heads are gonna roll__  
><em>_I've made your misery my goal__  
><em>_So if you want survival__  
><em>_Kneel on my__arrival__  
><em>_for this is how I rule the world_

"Of course I gave my word, I promised that I wouldn't touch them and _I _never did. I said that I would let you and Antonio go free and I will…after a while." He grabbed Antonio by his collar and shoved him roughly towards the ship Horatio was occupying "Since I'm such a nice person I'm going to allow you to go back home and see if next time you'll be able to put up a better fight. As for you…" he whirled on his heel and forced Francis into a standing position "well, we'll just have to work some more on your negotiation skills."

_No one can stop me__  
><em>_For only I am in control__  
><em>_And if you want me__  
><em>_You better contact my people__  
><em>_See my crown, I am king__  
><em>_You'll love the endless worshiping__  
><em>_I am raw, a dinosaur__  
><em>_But I will never be extinct__  
><em>_So don't mess with me__  
><em>_I'll shoot you down__  
><em>_Don't mess with me__  
><em>_I'll knock you down__  
><em>_Don't mess with me__  
><em>_I'll shoot you down__  
><em>_Don't mess with me_

A/N: I honestly have no idea what this is. My ipod was on shuffule and I was inspired.

*Horatio Nelson: Commander of the HMS Victory during the Napoleonic Wars and one of the greatest British Naval war heroes ever.

The Battle of Trafalgar was set in the Napoleonic Wars with 27 British Ships defeating 33 combined ships of the French and Spanish navy. 22 of the French-Spanish ships were lost while not a single British ship fell. The decisive British Victory was said to have been the turning point in the war that gave the British Naval supremacy throughout the rest of the Napoleonic Wars.

The French commander Pierre-Charles (^ ^) was taken as a prisoner of war while the Spanish commander Federico was killed.

Hetalia is not mine and neither is the song that was used: 'Don't Mess with Me' by Temposhark.

-If Hetalia was mine Arthur would be married to Francis and they would have lots of threesomes. ^ ^ 


End file.
